EMDR Therapy in Cornwall & Online Across UK
Helping you process what’s happened and move forward
Sometimes you know exactly what’s bothering you.
An accident. A loss. A relationship. Something that happened at work. A difficult childhood. A moment you can’t stop replaying.
Other times, you just know something isn’t right. You avoid things you used to do. Your confidence has changed. You’re constantly on edge, or certain situations bring up anxiety that seems completely out of proportion.
Perhaps there’s a belief sitting underneath everything:
I’m not good enough
I’m not safe
It was my fault
I should have done more
You might have spent years telling yourself you should be over it by now. You might even look at other people’s experiences and think, Other people have been through much worse than me.
But trauma isn’t simply about what happened. It’s also about what happened inside you as a result.
EMDR can help us work with that.
You don’t lose the memory. You gain control over it
I’m Lee Martin, a BACP Accredited Counsellor and EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner, offering EMDR therapy face-to-face in Porthleven, Cornwall, and online across the UK.
Why can’t I just get over it?
This is something I hear a lot.
People tell themselves what happened wasn’t that bad, that other people have been through worse, or that because something happened years ago they should have moved on by now.
But that’s not how our brains always work.
Two people can experience similar events and respond completely differently.
I sometimes describe the brain as being a little like a computer. Throughout our lives, experiences are processed and filed away. We know they happened, but they sit where they belong: in the past.
Sometimes an experience doesn’t seem to get filed properly. It’s almost as though the file has a bug in it.
Instead of staying stored away, it keeps opening when you don’t want it to. An image appears. Your stomach drops. Your heart races. You avoid something. Your mind and body can respond as though something from years ago is happening right now.
EMDR aims to help the brain process that experience so it can become something that happened then, rather than something that continues to have so much power over you now.
So, what actually is EMDR?
I’ll be the first to admit it.
EMDR can sound a bit weird.
You bring something difficult to mind while doing eye movements, tapping or another task designed to keep part of your working memory busy.
And somehow that’s supposed to help?
I completely understand why people can be sceptical.
One of the things that first fascinated me about EMDR was that rather than only talking about what happened or finding ways to cope around it, we can work more directly with the memories, beliefs, emotions and physical responses that are keeping somebody stuck.
During processing, I’ll regularly ask what you’re noticing.
Initially that might be:
“I feel trapped.”
“I’m scared.”
“I can feel it in my stomach.”
Then something can begin to shift.
“Actually… I got through it.”
“I’m safe now.”
“It wasn’t my fault.”
And sometimes, eventually:
“When I think about it now, it doesn’t bother me anymore.”
Those are some of my favourite moments in this work.
EMDR isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about taking away the emotional sting so it no longer rules your life
What can change?
For me, the important question isn’t simply whether somebody’s score on a questionnaire has changed.
It’s whether their life has changed.
That could mean driving again after a traumatic accident, returning to work following a frightening injury or going back to a sport or activity that fear had taken away from you.
It might mean carrying less guilt or shame. Feeling differently about something that happened during a difficult relationship, traumatic birth or baby loss. Feeling more confident at work or in relationships. Or no longer organising your life around avoiding a particular trigger.
Sometimes the changes might look small from the outside.
Going into the supermarket alone.
Applying for a promotion.
Taking a particular road.
Putting a boundary in place.
But when fear has been making those decisions for years, those aren’t small changes at all.
That’s what excites me about EMDR.
Rather than only asking:
“How can you cope with this?”
We can also ask:
“Can we help this stop having so much power over you?”
You are always in control
One of the biggest worries people have before starting EMDR is that they’ll lose control.
Some worry it’s like hypnosis.
It isn’t.
Others imagine they’ll be forced to relive everything in graphic detail or pushed into memories they aren’t ready to face.
You won’t be.
You are always in control.
Before processing difficult experiences, we’ll spend time understanding what’s brought you to therapy and making sure you have ways of regulating yourself if things become uncomfortable.
We’ll go at your pace.
If you need to stop, we stop.
I regularly remind clients that this is your process, not mine. My job is to guide and support you, not push you somewhere you don’t want to go.
We can be as gentle as we need to be. You will never be pushed somewhere you don’t want to go.
What happens in EMDR therapy with me?
We don’t usually begin processing difficult memories the moment you walk through the door.
The first stage is understanding you.
We’ll explore what’s happening now, what triggers you, experiences that may have contributed to how you’re feeling and, importantly, what you’d like to be different.
We’ll look at relevant parts of your history, relationships, significant experiences and the ways you’ve learnt to cope.
From there, we’ll prepare for EMDR. That can include learning ways to regulate difficult emotions, developing resources and making sure you understand what we’re doing and why.
When you’re ready, we’ll identify what we want to work on. We might explore the memory or image, what you’ve come to believe about yourself because of it, what you’d prefer to believe and what happens in your body when you bring it to mind.
Then we begin processing.
There’s no correct way for your brain to respond.
Everybody’s journey through EMDR is different.
That’s still one of the things I find most fascinating about it.
EMDR isn’t only about PTSD
One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR is that it’s only for PTSD or what people might think of as “major trauma”.
Trauma is an important part of my EMDR work, but EMDR can also be used to work with distressing experiences that continue to influence how somebody feels, thinks or behaves in the present.
Sometimes we’re working with a frightening event.
Sometimes it’s guilt or shame.
Sometimes it’s fear of failure or a deeply held belief such as:
“I’m not good enough.”
Something happening today may be activating a belief you first learnt many years ago.
EMDR can also involve preparing for things you fear in the future.
For example, somebody might desperately want a promotion but become overwhelmed at the thought of the interview because underneath that fear sits the belief:
“I’m not good enough.”
We can explore where that belief may have come from, work with relevant experiences and then prepare for the situation they’re facing now.
For me, EMDR isn’t simply about what happened.
It’s about whether something that happened then is stopping you living the life you want now.
I’ve experienced EMDR too
This matters to me.
I don’t want to offer therapies that I don’t genuinely believe in.
I’ve experienced EMDR myself, so I know what it’s like to sit on the other side of the process.
I know how strange it can initially seem, and I also know what it’s like when something that previously carried a huge amount of emotion begins to feel different.
That personal experience, alongside my professional training and clinical work, is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about EMDR.
I understand the process from both sides of the room.
I don’t offer therapies I don’t believe in. I’ve experienced EMDR myself and understand the process from both sides of the room.
What might life look like afterwards?
This is ultimately what matters.
Imagine thinking about something that’s bothered you for years and realising:
“It doesn’t bother me anymore.”
The memory hasn’t disappeared.
You haven’t forgotten what happened.
It simply doesn’t carry the same emotional weight.
Months later, perhaps you’re doing things without even thinking about them that once felt impossible.
Driving.
Working.
Travelling.
Playing sport.
Being more present with your children.
Feeling more confident in relationships.
Applying for opportunities.
Setting boundaries.
Or simply getting on with your day without the past continually intruding into the present.
I can’t promise EMDR will sort out every difficulty in your life, and I don’t believe any responsible therapist should make that promise.
But I have seen how powerful it can be when something that has weighed somebody down begins to lose its hold.
And when that happens, something else becomes possible.
A future that isn’t being written by the past.
Questions people often ask about EMDR
Will EMDR make me forget what happened?
Is EMDR hypnosis?
Do I have to tell you every detail?
What if it becomes too intense?
Can EMDR be done online?
Yes. I offer EMDR therapy online across the UK as well as face-to-face from my practice in Porthleven, Cornwall.
How many EMDR sessions will I need?
Ready to stop letting the past make today’s decisions?
Starting EMDR can feel daunting.
You’re choosing to turn towards something you may have spent years trying not to think about.
I think there’s something incredibly brave about that.
Some of my proudest moments as a therapist are watching somebody face something they’ve been frightened of and eventually realise it doesn’t have the same power anymore.
They’ve done the hard part.
I’ve simply helped guide them through it.
If something from your past, something happening now or a fear about the future is stopping you living the life you want, we can start with a conversation.
You don’t need to know whether EMDR is right for you.
You don’t need to know where we’d start.
We’ll work that out together.
Because however stuck things might feel right now, your past doesn’t have to decide what happens next.
Even when you can’t see the light, there is a light on somewhere.
Get in touch
Send me a message if you’re ready to talk, or even if you’re just thinking about it. That first step might feel big, but it could be the start of something better.
- Face-to-face EMDR therapy in Porthleven, Cornwall
- Online EMDR therapy available UK wide