There are a lot of men right now who are holding everything together on the outside.
Work gets done. Family comes first. Life carries on.
But underneath that, something does not feel right.
It might be anxiety that never really switches off.
It might be a relationship that feels uncertain or distant.
It might be grief that has nowhere to go.
Or just a sense of feeling stuck, lost, or not quite yourself anymore.
And most men do what they have always done.
They carry on.
Why I Created This Space in Porthleven
I have recently moved into a new counselling room in Porthleven here in Cornwall.
This was not just about changing location. It was about creating a space where men can actually slow down and think.
The room is based near the harbour, somewhere that naturally invites you to take a breath before or after a session. For some men, that might be the first time they have paused in a long while.
This is something I felt was important.
Not just a room to sit in, but a place where you can begin to make sense of things.
If you are looking for support locally, you can find more about my face to face work here:
👉 https://thereisalighttherapy.co.uk/?preview
I also work with men across the UK online:
👉 https://thereisalighttherapy.co.uk/2025/09/07/baby-loss-counselling-for-men-therapy-in-cornwall-online/
What Men Are Really Struggling With
A lot of the men I work with would not describe themselves as struggling at first.
They are functioning. They are coping.
But when we look a bit closer, things often sound like this:
- Overthinking everything, especially at night
- Feeling on edge or irritable without knowing why
- Pulling away from people or noticing others pulling away from them
- Questioning their relationship or their direction in life
- Feeling flat, disconnected, or just not like themselves
And for some men, there is something even heavier underneath.
Loss.
Grief.
Particularly baby loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss. Something that often goes unspoken for men.
If that is something you are dealing with, I have written more about that here:
👉 https://thereisalighttherapy.co.uk/2026/02/26/baby-loss-support-for-dads-a-straight-talking-grief-guide-for-men/
Why Many Men Do Not Reach Out
One of the biggest barriers is not a lack of need. It is the belief that they should handle it alone.
You might recognise some of this:
“I should be able to deal with this”
“Other people have it worse”
“Talking is not really going to change anything”
So instead, things get pushed down or ignored.
The problem is, it does not tend to stay contained.
It shows up in relationships. In stress levels. In sleep. In mood. In that constant feeling that something is not quite right.
At some point, something has to shift.
When Talking Is Not Enough
For some men, talking helps. For others, it feels like going round in circles.
This is where I also use EMDR therapy.
EMDR can help process experiences that feel stuck, whether that is anxiety, past events, or distressing thoughts that keep repeating.
I have recently submitted my accreditation with the EMDR Association UK, which reflects the level of training and experience I have been building in this approach.
A Different Way In
I know that reaching out for therapy is not always an easy step.
For some men, even reading something like this is a start.
That is part of the reason I have also written a book, focused on men dealing with loss and emotional struggle. It is something you can go through in your own time, privately, without pressure.
For some, that becomes the first step before speaking to someone.
You Do Not Have to Keep Carrying It Alone
You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
You do not need the right words.
And you do not need to wait until things get worse.
Sometimes it starts with a conversation. Sometimes it starts with just acknowledging that something is not right.
If you are based in Porthleven, Helston, or anywhere across Cornwall, or if you are looking for online support across the UK, there is a way to begin.