Most men are experts at cracking on. You push through long days, shoulder responsibility and keep things together for everyone else while keeping the tougher stuff to yourself. On the outside you look steady enough. Inside you might feel something very different. The tension that never drops. The thoughts that keep looping. The memories that hit out of nowhere. The pressure that has slowly become a part of your daily life.
You are not the only one carrying more than you let on. You also do not have to keep carrying it alone.
The Pressure to Just Get On With It
Many men grow up with the same message. Do not talk. Do not feel. Do not struggle.
So when anxiety creeps in or when low mood makes everything feel heavy you do not reach out. When trauma from years ago still shakes your system you tell yourself it will pass. You try to tough it out or push it down until it becomes another thing you silently endure.
But the things you bury do not stay quiet.
They show up in your body as tension, anger that takes you by surprise, panic that comes out of nowhere, exhaustion, withdrawal, sleepless nights or a feeling that you are not quite yourself anymore.
None of this means weakness.
It means you have been carrying too much for too long.
Why EMDR Works So Well for Men
A lot of men worry that counselling means endless emotional talking. EMDR feels different.
EMDR which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing is a structured and practical therapy that helps the brain process trauma, overwhelm and emotional triggers. It is widely used by the military, emergency workers and people who want an approach that is grounded and effective.
EMDR can help when you are facing:
• Trauma from the past whether recent or long ago
• Baby loss or grief that has never been spoken about
• Anxiety, panic or feeling constantly on edge
• Childhood experiences that still affect your adult life
• PTSD symptoms
• Feeling stuck or disconnected from the life you want
EMDR is not about reliving trauma. It is about releasing it. Men often find this approach easier because it works with the brain rather than relying on you to explain everything in detail.
Therapy Is Not Weak It Is Maintenance
Most men take care of everything except themselves. You keep your car serviced. You look after your home. You protect and support the people around you. But when it comes to your own wellbeing you push through and hope for the best.
Therapy is not self indulgent and it is not a sign of weakness.
It is repair. It is maintenance. It is the moment you give yourself the same care you give to everyone else. When your mind is steadier you show up with more clarity, more patience and more confidence.
What Working With Me Is Like
I work with men who never imagined they would sit in a counselling room or join an online session. Men who thought they should be able to sort things out themselves. Men who were sceptical or who had been carrying private battles for years.
My approach is calm and grounded. You do not need to arrive with perfect explanations. You do not need to be polished. You can come exactly as you are.
With experience in anxiety, depression, trauma, PTSD, addiction and baby loss I understand how heavy life can feel and how isolating it becomes when you do not know where to turn.
If You Have Bupa Health Insurance
I am registered with Bupa. If you have a Bupa policy you may be able to access counselling or EMDR therapy with me through your insurance. Many people are unaware they are covered. It is worth checking your policy so you do not miss support you are already entitled to.
Online or Face to Face in Cornwall
You can work with me online from anywhere in the UK or face to face in Helston Cornwall. Both options offer privacy, consistency and a space where you can talk freely without judgement.
If You Are Still Unsure Start Small
You do not have to make a huge decision today. You do not need to be certain therapy will help. You can simply start with a conversation. That small first step can be the moment things begin to shift.
You do not need to wait until everything cracks. You can reach out long before that.
If you are ready to explore how counselling or EMDR could help you get in touch. Even if you are only thinking about it I am here when you are ready.
Send me a message if you’re ready to talk, or even if you’re just thinking about it. That first step might feel big, but it could be the start of something better.
Face to face sessions in Helston Cornwall
Online therapy available UK wide
Lee: Men's Counsellor: Baby Loss : Anxiety: Depression
Registered with Bupa for eligible policyholders
Call or text: 07873 665713
Email: leemartincounselling@gmail.com